Our last name
When Roberto and I were first married, we considered something that most married couples (especially in our LDS culture) don't really have to think about. We were considering to either keep the last name that Roberto had or to change that last name to another family name.
Why, you may ask?
I'll tell you why (hence this post). Roberto's parents had him out of wedlock. (GASP) His dad was actually engaged to another woman when this whole affair happened (pretty scandalous, huh?) Roberto's mom was single. Anyway, Roberto was raised by his mother, since she didn't want any more drama with having to bring into the light what had happened between her and his father, especially since he was engaged to someone else. So, in Ecuador, Roberto was known as Roberto Ayuso (which is his mother's maiden name). (FYI: Roberto's dad did know about him and was somewhat involved in his life. Roberto has memories of seeing his dad when he was 3 or 4. Eventually, his dad's family found out about the whole thing and everything worked out somewhat.)
Fast forward years later, Roberto had moved to the U.S. and his mother had married a man named Franklin Cedeño. (Hey there it is!) OK. So, during this time, Roberto was given Cedeño as his last name and it has been his last name ever since he lived in the U.S. of A. He was even sealed to Franklin, his mom and his brothers and sisters from that marriage.
So when the time came for us to get married, we thought- we could change our last name, but to what? Ayuso? In the end, we figured it was fine just the way it was, and Roberto did not want to go through all the hassle of changing his records (that was the main reason.)
Now GET THIS. Roberto's mother is now no longer married to Franklin Cedeño. They were divorced this past April. In fact she has remarried since then and has another last name. So now, Roberto, I and all of our children will have the last name Cedeño, when in fact, we are not related (by blood) to the Cedeño family line.
Let that sink in. What do you think? Would that bother you?
The bottom line is, it is our history. No matter how messed up it may seem, we will still carry the last name Cedeño, because it represents what happened in our lives, mainly in the life of my husband, since he was not raised by his biological father.
Well there it is, hopefully our ancestors won't hate us.
Why, you may ask?
I'll tell you why (hence this post). Roberto's parents had him out of wedlock. (GASP) His dad was actually engaged to another woman when this whole affair happened (pretty scandalous, huh?) Roberto's mom was single. Anyway, Roberto was raised by his mother, since she didn't want any more drama with having to bring into the light what had happened between her and his father, especially since he was engaged to someone else. So, in Ecuador, Roberto was known as Roberto Ayuso (which is his mother's maiden name). (FYI: Roberto's dad did know about him and was somewhat involved in his life. Roberto has memories of seeing his dad when he was 3 or 4. Eventually, his dad's family found out about the whole thing and everything worked out somewhat.)
Fast forward years later, Roberto had moved to the U.S. and his mother had married a man named Franklin Cedeño. (Hey there it is!) OK. So, during this time, Roberto was given Cedeño as his last name and it has been his last name ever since he lived in the U.S. of A. He was even sealed to Franklin, his mom and his brothers and sisters from that marriage.
So when the time came for us to get married, we thought- we could change our last name, but to what? Ayuso? In the end, we figured it was fine just the way it was, and Roberto did not want to go through all the hassle of changing his records (that was the main reason.)
Now GET THIS. Roberto's mother is now no longer married to Franklin Cedeño. They were divorced this past April. In fact she has remarried since then and has another last name. So now, Roberto, I and all of our children will have the last name Cedeño, when in fact, we are not related (by blood) to the Cedeño family line.
Let that sink in. What do you think? Would that bother you?
The bottom line is, it is our history. No matter how messed up it may seem, we will still carry the last name Cedeño, because it represents what happened in our lives, mainly in the life of my husband, since he was not raised by his biological father.
Well there it is, hopefully our ancestors won't hate us.
I think it's important to remember that Roberto was sealed to his stepfather. If it were me, I would want that last name, no offense to my mother, of course. Unfortunately, in our world people marry and divorce CONSTANTLY and so I would want the last name of the person I am going to be linked to in the eternities. His mother will have him there regardless--she's his mother!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you wanted all that or not--haha. Not trying to boss you around or anything. I just wrote down how I would feel about it.
ReplyDeleteThat is such a touching story. I'm really glad you shared it. It makes me feel so inspired and like I'm almost normal when I hear stories like these. Its so wonderful. I think you're absolutely right about wanting to keep the name Cedeno, its part of your family history. Its apart of who you are and I think that should always be remembered. Thank you so much for sharing this experience!
ReplyDeleteThat is so interesting. I don't think I knew that whole story. I knew part of it, but not all. I would probably stick with the name I had. Like you said, it's a part of who you and Roberto were in the past. It tells a story. And you may as well enjoy telling the story. :)
ReplyDeleteyes, very interesting! definitely not something you would usually think about!
ReplyDeleteInteresting! What a fun history to have. Your kids will love it!
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica, Thanks so much for commenting on my blog. I didn't think you'd remember me, but I'm glad you do!
ReplyDeleteThis is crazy! I don't think your ancestors will hate you, but maybe your posterity when they try and figure out where the line went. I'm running into problems like that all over my family history I'm wishing they had made some notes or something for me. It makes for an interesting story though, your kids and grandkids will love it.
speaking of... Samuel is so darling.