A True Friend
Define friend please.
What does this word mean to you? What do you expect from a person who you call friend? What does it mean to you to be a true friend?
I am convinced that everyone yearns for friendship, whether they admit it or not. I'm sure you can think back to the time when you were 4 and making friends seemed as easy as pie. You know, when nobody cared about the superficial things and you could just play carefree.
Of course it is still possible to have friends as an adult, but it seems to take a little more effort on both sides of the friendship. Then again, things only get complicated when you decide they are. Oh, what am I trying to say?
It seems like now that I am an adult, wife, mother, I don't expect the same type of friendship relationship that I had when I was younger. Not that I don't think it's important or that it can't be done, but I think that life is just different now. We all have responsibilities, things need to be done, etc. and it doesn't allow for the exact same kind of one on one interactions as frequently as before (you know, when we were young and free).
Just to be specific, I am referring to girlfriend relationships. Women being friends with other women.
So what does make a person a real friend? You know, when I think of the people who I call friend, I think of people who are willing to listen. More than anything else, if I have something I need to talk about and they are willing to hear my heart, then we can have those intimate conversations and that is what makes us connect and feel close to one another.
I am curious though, how often do you have one on one time with a girlfriend/s? What has been your experience with friendships at this stage of your adult life?
Ultimately, even though it may not be as it once was, I think it is important to have time spent with friends and to have heartfelt conversations, but like anything else, it just takes a little effort on my part. It doesn't have to be my main priority, but if I want to feel like I have friends that I can talk to, then I have to make that happen with the time I do have.
"Be that friend, be that kind, that you prayed you might find, and you'll always have a best friend, come what may."
I feel like at this stage my girlfriend time always includes our kids. Some of my sweet friends go for walks with me in the mornings as we push our kiddos in strollers. Sometimes they come over and we just talk as our kids play. Sometimes I watch hers so she can go to the Temple and sometimes she watches mine so I can run errands. I think adult social interaction is critical for stay at home moms, and probably everyone is a little different in their tolerance level of all-kid time :) But for me, talking to another mom is as good as going out with the girls. In fact, I kind of miss my kids. The only time I personally like to leave my kids is to be with Mark.
ReplyDeleteI agree a lot with what you have said and with what Halsey has said. Girlfriend time usually has to include my kids because the evenings (when Adam would be available to watch the kids) are busy with familyl time, dinner, and bed time. I have also found that I usually have to reach out and encourage friendships for them to happen. It's the story of my life (with a couple of exceptions) and sometimes I wish I could just have friends. And a lot of the time I find I don't have the "ideal" best friend, but there are women I find that I enjoy being around and we always find plenty of things to talk about. And I consider them my friends, even good friends. What I'm trying to say is that my need for a friend has changed a little from when I was in high school. I still need friends, but what I need from our relationships has changed.
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