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Showing posts from December, 2016

Abram's journey in the NICU

Abram was born right at 35 weeks gestation. He weighed 4 pounds and 12 ounces. The week before his delivery, I was given a shot to help mature his lungs so that if he was born early, he would be able to breathe on his own, which he did! When he arrived at the NICU, they first wanted to see if he was able to keep his own temperature in an open crib. He only spent a couple of days under lights and was then transferred to a crib. During this time, he had a bunch of wires put on him, including an IV which was how he got his nutrients. They then slowly gave him my milk as I came in to try to breastfeed twice a day and through a feeding tube that went through his nose and down into his tummy. I brought him my breastmilk for about a week. We then switched to formula as my milk supply decreased and I became discouraged with pumping milk. As the days past, he gained weight and slowly took more formula by mouth. Once they saw that he was gaining weight and taking enough formula by mouth, we

Postpartum Depression

It's not easy to write about something unpleasant, but I think it's important for me to document this, as it was a very life changing experience for me. Immediately after Abram's birth I felt guilty, like it was my fault that he had come early. Maybe I had been too stressed out or anxious, etc. I was also feeling very sad that he was in the NICU and not with me. This would change a lot of things that I had planned on, like breastfeeding, which I felt was a big part of bonding, which I had successfully experienced with Samuel. We also had a change of insurance at the time, due to Roberto's new employment, which meant I couldn't get access to an electric breast pump after going home. Oh and I just had major surgery to recover from and a five year old son at home. All of these things were running through my mind and I was feeling very overwhelmed. The day we came home from the hospital and could not bring Abram with us, was so very hard. Once I was home, I became o

My second pregnancy and birth of our son Abram

After three and a half years of trying to conceive and with the help of assisted reproductive technology, we were pregnant! I honestly was so surprised that it had worked, on the first try and that we were going to be having a baby again. After waiting for so long and preparing myself mentally for disappointment if the treatment had not worked, I was kind of in denial. This was so different compared to my first pregnancy; with Samuel, we did not need to seek medical intervention. Don't get me wrong, I was so grateful that we were able to get the help we needed and that insurance covered a great portion of the cost, but going through that and getting pregnant in that way made it feel different.  I also was more scared of losing this pregnancy even though I had not experienced loss in the past. It had been years since my last pregnancy and my body had also changed in the fact that I had been diagnosed with Addison's disease a few years prior. I didn't really know what to ex